Tips to Reduce Bedtime Battles

One common challenge that a lot of parents face and cannot seem to work through themselves is their child’s sleeping patterns.

As clinicians, this is often a part of what parents seek treatment for with their kids.

Even in the best of times, parents struggle with getting their children to sleep at normal hours, undisrupted, independently, or without nightmares. 

Due to Covid and increased anxiety levels with children, this problem is heightened and a lot of parents don’t know how to make it better.

If bedtime is a struggle in your household and you are starting to feel helpless, here are some things that you can try.

1. Adding positive things to the bedtime routine/bedroom to reinforce peaceful sleep. 

   1. Meditation apps can help kids fall asleep quickly and relax faster.

   2. Blackout curtains can help kids stay asleep longer.

   3. Weighted blankets can help decrease children’s anxiety.

   4. Stuffed animals in the bed can help when kids wake up in the middle of the night and need to feel comfort.

   5. Story time with their favorite books before bed instead of watching television can help them feel restful and have some positive time with you before they go to sleep.

   6. Move bath time to night time rather than in the morning or afternoon so that your child is feeling wound down before bed.

   7. Sound machines can help kids who tend to be light sleepers and easily woken.

   8. A canopy or tent may help your child feel more comfortable and cozy in their own bed, and can also promote independence if they get to choose it.

   9. Let them choose their own comforter, pillows, etc so that they are more likely to want to use them as opposed to sleep in your bed.

2. Validate (but do not reinforce) any fears they may be having related to bedtime.

   1. Hear their fears and be understanding about them. Sleeping alone can be scary at first.

   2. Listen to them tell you about any nightmares they may be having, but also do not agree with them or reinforce them.

   3. Do not minimize their fears.

   4. If your child tells you what they are afraid of, instead of downplaying it, try to lead them to their own realization that what they are afraid of isn’t real.

   5. Explain to them that you are willing to let them take baby steps in order to work up to sleeping alone.

3. Take baby steps with them.

   1. Maybe stay in their room with them and sit next to them.

   2. Eventually work up to independent sleeping at least half the night, and then the whole night.

   3. Reward them when they make it to the next baby step.

   4. Tell them that you are proud of them each time they move up a step.

4. Have patience.

   1. This is a process! Every child is different. It takes some kids longer than others.

   2. Covid is increasing children’s anxiety and having  a little understanding goes a long way.

   3. It won’t help matters if you are getting frustrated.

   4. Have a conversation about what may be not working if you are seeing some backtracking. (Maybe their sleep machine is actually keeping them awake now!)

   5. Always include the child in the plan. Ask them what they think will help them and if something is not working.

Sleeping independently, through the night, or getting to sleep early enough is all super important, and the way your child sleeps can absolutely have an affect on their mental health. It can also add an immense amount of stress on to you, as the parent, if you dread your child’s bedtime each night. Clinicians are seeing an increase in sleep troubles and anxiety with children following Covid. If your child seems to be struggling with their bedtime routine and you are having a hard time helping them on your own, sometimes it is important to seek extra help from a mental health specialist.