How to Handle a bad report card
Tips on how to talk to your kids about bad grades
How do I handle a bad report card?
It’s the end of the first marking period for several schools in the Philadelphia area. This means that the first report cards of the school year are coming.
As a parent, you get your kids to school. You remind them to do their homework and help with their projects. Yet, your kids may bring a less-than-ideal report card home.
Parents often judge and blame kids for not trying hard enough. This can lead to fights and kids feeling shame about their grades.
Here are some tips on how to have a constructive conversation with your kids about bad grades.
1. Before the conversation, check in with yourself
A bad report card can make you feel frustrated with your kids and even yourself. It’s important to check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling. If you have the conversation while angry, it can turn into a fight.
It is beneficial to wait until you are calm to have this conversation. You can also use this time to think about what you want to achieve by talking to your child about their bad grades.
Before talking with your child, confide in your partner or a trusted friend or family member. This will help you process the bad report card. Processing with other people can help you be less emotional when talking to your child.
2. Celebrate the wins
It’s easy to want to address the bad grades, but it is important to find and celebrate the positives as well. Praise any progress your child has made. Also, praise any positive comments from their teachers. Good attendance, study habits, and effort are all worthy of recognition.
3. Avoid playing the blame game
It is important to avoid placing blame on your child at the beginning of this conversation. Your child may react and feel ashamed or attacked. Instead, use open-ended questions to see what your child thinks about their grades.
What do you think of your grade in _____ class?
Do you think that it is a fair grade?
Why do you think your teacher gave you this grade?
4. Hear Out Your Child
Your child may want to blame a teacher for their bad grade. They might say, "The teacher is bad" or "That teacher hates me." Although you might be quick to negate that, it may be valuable to hear your child out and ask them why they feel that way. There may be a communication or organization issue. You can address it with your child's teacher to get their perspective.
5. A bad report card can be a sign of other issues
A sudden drop in grades and poor performance can be a possible sign of depression or anxiety in children. It’s important to talk with your kids about how they’re feeling to see what’s going on. They need extra emotional support from a school counselor or a therapist.
If your child struggles to focus and follow directions, it may indicate a learning disorder. You can talk with your child’s teachers, school counselor, and pediatrician to learn more about getting your child evaluated.
6. Create a plan
When talking with your child about their bad grades, ask them what help they need to improve their grades. You can also suggest time management and organizational skills to them.
Parents may need to restructure schedules to allow for more time dedicated to homework, studying, and tutoring.
